People who are a 360 degrees part of me, my friends, relatives and my colleagues at the campus – they all believe that I am the last person they would expect to fall in love. Why? Every one is of the opinion that I am not too serious about being in a relationship. How? They have formed this opinion over the years that they’ve known me. They find me too jolly to be a part of someone’s life for a long time. Doesn’t make sense? If you’ve been a regular on this blog then you might have a similar opinion about me as well.
This Valentine’s Day I regret to inform you that your opinions and calculations about what goes on in the love section of my brain are completely false. Baseless to the core.
I have silently been in love over the past five years. And this is my love story, so far of course.
Confessions of a Dyslexic Lover
I was sure Sparta was in trouble that day. The Battle of Thermopylae was about to begin. King Leonidas was fiddling with his Windows XP machine while trying to run a game in compatibility mode. He was continuously yelling such bad things about the creator of Microsoft-land. All this while Xerxes was moving his army of soldiers right there in front of us on the whiteboard. He finished scribbling his strategy to crush Sparta and looked back. He looked at me like a butcher looks at the chicken’s eye one last time. Nothing could save me now, not even Frank Miller. But just as they say the worst was yet to come, Xerxes was disturbed by a knock on the door. As he opened the door I looked upon our leader Leonidas with hope. He was still hopeless with his Windows XP machine.
Just then a beautiful princess made her way into Sparta. She was the most beautiful one I had ever seen. I didn’t want Leonidas putting his dirty hands around her so I offered her a seat. She willingly took my offer and my eyes began to melt as I looked at her hot wardrobe. Right then I felt something pierce through my heart. I had been attacked. It must have been Xerxes, he must have seen me lose my concentration over a girl. I looked down upon my chest and there was no blood. Xerxes was still fiddling with his (or her) jewelry. So I was attacked by the princess. Her deep eyes killed my heart with just one look. A smile followed and my eyes shut down.
‘Do you come to class to sleep Mr. Zoravar?’, yelled my teacher. I opened my eyes and found everyone was giggling at my stupidity. I had closed my eyes while staring at the new girl in class. I could smell awkwardness right next to me. I tried to take control of the situation and decided to do something intelligent. I asked the teacher permission to go to the loo. Not really smart enough but try being in a situation like that and your brain cells betray you very own body.
In the loo as I relieved myself I thought about the new girl in the class. How foolishly I had given myself to her and I didn’t even know her name. I imagined at this rate I couldn’t really sing Bollywood songs running around trees like in the movies. My sole purpose of the first semester of my first year of engineering now was not to mug up concept of C++ programming or waste paper on differential equations but to win over that new girl in class. How will I do it? How will I succeed without mastering any tricks of the trade? I didn’t have an answer to that then. I still don’t have answers to that now.
The first year passed and I knew her name by then. I didn’t go up to her and ask her, I was awfully too shy to do something like that. I searched the class attendance register and then I browsed her or Orkut (that was the big daddy of social networking that time) and I got to know some minor details about her. I didn’t even add her on Orkut thinking she might think of me as a desperate person. We didn’t talk much except for the occasional hi-hellos once in a while. I was slowly on the path to self destruction like any other Bollywood super hero.
The second and third year passed in almost the similar way. Now Facebook started catching up and I added her on Facebook. We did talk in the class room at times but it was strictly business. I asked her about notes and she’d give it to me for copying them. I posted flowers, funny photos and stuff on her Facebook wall. She was slowly taking over me entirely. Every once in a while I thought about going up to her and telling her how I felt about her and all but I just didn’t have the you-know-what back then. May be I still don’t have them.
The last day of college, oh how can I forget it! I was dressed in formals for no good reason. I thought this would be the day I’d propose her. Four years of silent one sided love and I just couldn’t take it now. I bought a rose, a box of chocolates and practiced some lines. I seemed confident inside and foolish outside. But I had to give this thing a shot or I’d lose her for life. This is it, I told myself. I did think of backing out at the last moment but something kept the desire burning inside me. She was the girl for me and I was the guy for her. Made for each other stuff and some Bollywood songs ringing inside my head kept my brains busy for most of the day.
The Battle of Thermopylae isn’t for just about anyone. The true Sparta spirit has got to be there. As I was about to head to the canteen where I presumed the love of my life would be waiting for me, one of my classmates stopped by to say hello. I was oozing tension at that moment and my face was tomato red. She had suspected it by then and I told myself I should let go some of me before I explode. I told her of my jet plane plans of pursuing the girl of my dreams. What came my way was entirely unexpected. My world shattered in moment. My dreams…my thoughts…my courage…everything went down the drain. She told me the girl I was so in love with got engaged six months ago and is supposedly getting married by the end of this year. She didn’t tell anyone except for a few of her girl friends. Damn!
I could feel how those people who listen to Himesh Reshammiya feel like. Somehow I could relate to them. As Aatif Aslam, Himesh Reshammiya and Elvis Presley took over my playlist for the next couple of weeks, I blamed myself for what I did to me and to her. She didn’t deserve just about anyone. She deserved a Spartan. My dyslexic brain couldn’t make out the WHs of love. I had indeed lost the battle of love. Anyways I didn’t lose hope. I still went ahead to attend her wedding and at least get to enjoy the great food they have at Punjabi weddings. I wished her good luck and hoped this would turn out to be a sweet nightmare.
So the next time you judge a lover by his interest in cleavage think again. My sense of humor is what has kept me alive. I hope it goes on like this. As for the girl who got married, in case you’re reading this, I’m still single. We can do something about your husband and you can still get a Spartan. Baby this is Spartaaaaaaa!
PS: Happy Valentines day to all you singles and couples out there. Cherish love the way it comes. Be good and may God bless you with happiness and me with more girls.