1. Go for a cosmetic surgery
Look at chicks in Hollywood. And now look at the chicks we got in Bollywood. They’re freaking ugly dude! No matter how hard these chicks try to ape the West they’re just not up to the mark. Except for a few chicks who actually look good enough like Katrina Kaif and Lara Dutta. Look at Bipasha. That’s like kilos of fat sitting on her bikini sporting huge body. I wonder how John makes love to this Eiffel tower. And Aishwarya looks like an aunty to me.
2. Go on a beach with your lover in a bikini
I used to wonder why don’t we get to see those paparazzi shots in India like the ones they have in Hollywood land. Reality check! Our Bollywood chicks just don’t go to beaches in a bikini. Instead they choose to go on a private island with their rich boyfriends. For God sake look at the unemployment in the country girls! A little event could spark up the whole industry giving birth to legendary paparazzi. It also boosts your publicity! Take your lover along and get hanky-panky. You’re an Internet star for sure!
3. Capture your love making moments on a tape and let it get stolen!
You must spread love to get love. So make love and spread that love around. We have never had one of those awesome love making tapes people have had in Hollywood. Instead we’re forced to check out their tapes. So where’s the national pride girls? We’re lagging behind and you’ve got to launch the rocket now! In the land of Shiv-Sainiks I guess it’s hard to come up with something like this. But there’s always that excuse of your personal tape getting stolen.
4. Do realistic love making scenes on-screen.
Love making scenes in Bollywood have an iota of sex-appeal. For one, they’re highly unrealistic and two, our chicks just won’t take off their clothes. I agree even Hollywood chicks use a body double at times but hey we don’t get to know about it. That’s called being smart and naked at the same time. Love making on-screen has evolved over the past couple of years thanks to the Bhatt camp but we’ve still got a lot of ground to catch up. Also get rid of the whole fake smooching in Bollywood flicks. Where’s the conscience? How do you sleep at night? Huh! At least do something that’s real!
5. For God sake get into controversies!
The only rumors and masala we get is what the media creates. For God sake get into some naughty controversies. I hate to see tabloids and page 3 filled with garbage about the latest Bollywood movies, actors, actresses and who’s getting married to whom. Where are the cat fights?