I had seen this movie last Thursday night, the preview show, with my best friends from work. It has taken me a good number of days to recover from the hangover. I will be very honest with you during this review. Kites is a brilliant movie. That is one fact. I am not a douchebag. That’s another. I am a lier. That just about sums it up.
Kites has Hrithik Roshan (the big muscle man of Bollywood) and Mexican model and actress (voila!) Barbara Mori. I voted for this movie just because I love Hrithik. Both as an actor and as a dancer. So did all girls who decided to watch Kites after Hrithik cast his spell with unspoken romantic fantasies during his recent years in Bollywood.
We’re girls and we do have hearts of gold. Even our hearts of gold demand justice. Kites does nothing but puts you through a hallucination and a pure endorphin rush. Hrithik makes his entry into Kites and he simply blows every girl in the theater away. Suddenly all Aishwaryas in the house want to do is run to him and smooch every millimeter of Hrithik’s fine flesh while swinging to Dhoom machale.
Barbara Mori who happens to be a first timer at Bollywood rings in no surprises. She’s a booby trap you’ll laugh about. 40-45 minutes into the movie and you will go nuts as to who let the Playboy mansion chicks out? Barbara Mori doesn’t need acting lessons. She needs a flight back to Mexico. Now how do you say bye in Mexican? Flickr only taught me how to say hello.
Rakesh Roshan has got it wrong this time. I thought he was done with stupid cinema with Krrish (add any Rs I missed here) but he’s got me wrong. Kites is not a Bollywood movie you’ll enjoy. The screenplay is horribly a comedy of errors. The soundtrack is too jumpy. The dialogues are vague and the movie’s plot is somewhat unworthy.
There are some movies that let you go back with some good memories and some bad memories. Kites leaves you with a sickness bag. The popcorn, the cola and the hot dog all comes out during the last 15 minutes of the climax. Lucky we they haven’t invented seat belts for theater seats as yet. When they do Bollywood producers can cash in and make their share of brainless flicks just to make the common man poorer.
Don’t look for a rating. Go home. Sign off.