Apple has posted a letter amidst accusations coming from all over on reception issues being faced by iPhone 4 users. For all those of you who’re not smart enough here is the decoded version.
Dude you guys are talking about iPhone 4! You know we’ve sold like zillions of those. Almost everyone has one and those who don’t dream of owning one some day. You’ve got to hold the phone correctly dude be it Nokia, BlackBerry or the Droid. No stupid it doesn’t make any difference but it’s just that we had to write something smart. And you were the guys whose jaws dropped in shock and awe while Steve announced the new iPhone 4′s innovative antennae design. Now your signals screw you so you want to blame us eh?
A lot of imaginary people have sent us spam about how their iPhone 4 has a rocking reception. It’s great even when they’re underground. They claim they’ve been teasing their iPhone 3GS counterparts about the awesome reception they get with the fourth generation iPhone.
So where the heck is the problem?
Well we have found ourselves dumbfounded after some experiments at our test labs. We pondered on how we could cover up this whole stupid antennae issue and it seems a smart ass MIT graduate came out with a super cool solution.
So we’ve decided to adopt another smart ass idea from AT&T on displaying signal. Now we’re going to make a tiny little software upgrade on the iOS (yeah yeah it’ll be a free one, stop whining) that will make those signal bars shiny good. Well that’s what you asked for isn’t it?
Also we’d like Gruber-holics to kindly shut up and enjoy their much awaited super smartphone of the year quietly. You’ve had enough of page views to your delight. It’s time to find a new problem to spit at us.
And if you’re still feeling cheated you can throw that iPhone 4 back at us within 30 days of your purchase and we won’t mind returning your entire money back. We’ve got plenty of people dying to get one.
So until Adobe does something really nasty don’t wake us up. It’s high time we went back to sleep in our penthouses we bought with all that iMoney.
Love
Apple
[This is not an official letter from Apple. It's just a piece of satire. The full official letter from Apple is here.]
Article by Harry
Harry has written 461 awesome articles on HarryJerry.com.
About: ...an engineering student, a freelancer, a professional blogger, a loving lover, too shy, an Internet freak....and everything I shouldn't be.
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Tags: apple, fun, ios, iphone 4, issues, rants, satire
