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Ohh you think he’s no more,
Ohh you think he’s long gone,
Look inside baby,
He’s right here. He’s right inside you.
He still lives here,
He still breathes here,
Ohh look who goes there,
He’s still alive,
Ohh yeah he’s still alive!
The Raavan is still alive,
He still rules our little world,
He’s still in control,
Ohh! The Raavan…
All this time I thought it would be the aliens who would strike Earth and ultimately end our world. Turns out that Hollywood and all those science fiction books were a rip off. Nothing of that sort is gonna happen it seems. For the last couple of months everyone around me has been bugging me about this freak show happening at Geneva. And that the world will pretty much end. Yeah like they always say!
So I decided to dig into the whole thing and help everyone understand what these people are cooking at CERN. Here is the CERN Experiment, simplified, Ishy style!
After 25 years of planning and construction, scientists at CERN, the European particle physics laboratory, will switch on a huge experiment this morning which, they say, will tell us more about the origins of the universe and could lead to thousands of new inventions.The Large Hadron Collider, or LHC, built deep underground in Switzerland, will smash tiny particles into each other at speeds almost as fast as light itself.
Alright. All that smashing particle thing went just straight over your head, right? Well lemme explain. Everyone is keen to know the origin of the universe and there’s got to be some freaky mechanism to find that out. The Large Hadron Collider is just like the juicer/mixer your mom uses to make that juice you hate to drink. Only in this case, the LHC is one hell of a juicer.
The LHC is the world’s biggest particle accelerator. A series of superconducting magnets in pipes stored deep underground speed up tiny sub-atomic particles called protons to very near the speed of light. The particles whizz around a 17-mile tunnel deep underground between the border of France and Switzerland 11,245 times every second.
See I told you it’s a big thing! That 12-mile deep tunnel, I wonder if it houses any Mc Donalds drive through!
We all vote for these people. These people who go on to form the so called Government. This Government runs our huge nation. We are also the ones who hate the very Government which was formed because of our votes. The Government functions in a funny manner. Then there’s this thing called the Opposition. These are people who’re supposed to object at anything the Government says or does. Then there’s this thing called the Left. They really hate anything non-Indian. They would object if they find toilet paper instead of water at the Lok Sabha loo. So when the Government decides to sign up a Nuke deal with the United States of America, the Left opposes to it. Why? They’re Anti-Americans, don’t you get it?! The Government feels it’s been taken for granted by the Left for a long time and decide to go with the deal. The Left isn’t happy with it. Obviously they choose to withdraw their support to the Government. The opposition wakes up and suddenly smells an opportunity.
So the stage is set for the Mahabharat. Mind you this isn’t anything new at the Lok Sabha. It’s rare that a day passes without one. This time the Mahabharat is fought between the UPA i.e the Government, it’s supporters and the BJP, it’s supporters along with the Left party joining forces against the UPA to topple the Government.
The Mahabharat begins….
The day begins with usual the usual drama. Suddenly BJP MPs claim they’ve been bribed to absent themselves from the vote of confidence session. They seem to have happily accepted the bribe. They then bought it to the Lok Sabha and happily showed off the moolah to the rest of the MPs, teasing them with full glory. L.K Advani felt 9 Crores, the sum offered to the MPs, was way too much. So they decide to make an issue out of it. They shout. They made a hell of noise. They got tired and sat down. They didn’t have the energy to get up or speak out for the rest of the session. Damn! One good point to bomb the day and even that didn’t work for them. Good idea Advani ji!
Meanwhile, not very far away, an MP from Phulpur claimed he went nuts trying to understand the Nuke Deal. So he decided to vote against it. This is the same thing I try to explain to the examiner each time. If I can’t understand what Fourier is, I should probably have the right to vote against it!
Hockey is our National game. You certainly can’t mess with us on the field. Especially when Hockey is one of the most neglected sports in the country. It says India finally won 3-1! I wonder if it meant the fight or the match actually.
Some surprising news guys! After Chinese crackers, toys, colors, furniture, apparel, cell phones, unlocked iPhones and a million other defected products, China is all set to smuggle a brand new product into India. It’s called the Indian Doctor with Made in China tatooed on the butt. As more and more helpless Indian students are seeking admissions in Chinese medical colleges and universities, the toll of these Indian students has sky rocketed. Apart from the increased number of seats in these colleges the money factor also jumps in.
Money being the driving force for these students, Chinese universities charge Indian students US$3,300 a year for tuition on an average. Another US$1,000 is needed for board and lodging. This is a fourth of what one would spend in India.
So say hello to a new breed of Indian Chinese doctors. They’ll surely seem an attractive package. Lets see what all would a Chinese made Indian doctor could do:
Kidnap
2008-10-12 23:05
Crap! Crap! Crap!
0.3Singh is Kinng
2008-08-30 23:51
Totally crappy!
0.3
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