Movie Review – Housefull: The Steam Review

in Movies



housefull movie reviewNormally I don’t post movie reviews here considering my taste in Bollywood movies. Although my affinity towards Bollywood babes and deep-as-earth’s-core-cleavage attracts my eyeballs to movie theaters once in a while even if it means stupid Bollywood movies.

Housefull stars a host of elegant flesh, namely, super hottie Lara Dutta (man she’s got some cleavage!), deep dish Deepika Padukone and Ms. really long sultry legs Jiah Khan (I almost forgot her name). The films also stars Akshay Kumar, Ritesh Deshmukh and blah-blah-who-cares actors.

Housefull is Sajid Khan’s second attempt at making movies. He did a pretty neat job with Hey Baby (yes I saw that for the title song) and now with Housefull, Sajid Khan has shown how he’s grown over time. He has actually applied a whole wheat brain with Housefull.

A Bollywood movie can work two ways. One – if it’s an awesome movie with brilliant script, screenplay, soundtrack, array of actors. Something like the Munnabhai franchise. Two – the movie features a lot of meat. I’m the one who likes the second type of Bollywood movies. Why do you think Bollywood movies make so much money overseas? Well it’s the flesh of course.

housefull bikini shot

Housefull is a slaughter house Peta might protest against. Sajid Khan has made every attempt to exploit every tiny inch of skin that can be featured on the big screen. Forget how the world is heading towards 3D cinema, Bollywood is headed towards a larger cup size.

To start with Lara Dutta’s dress at her workplace is neat stuff man. Lara Dutta has an amazing potential and I’ve always believed in her. So when Lara asks Ritesh that she’s got a Victoria’s Secret lined up for him upstairs even Ritesh’s desi lingerie (read ling-a-reeee) dance doesn’t seem stupid. I blame Lara for the rising mercury levels inside my pants with high expectations. If that was really Victoria’s Secret she had put on, someone kill Victoria and the whole line up.

lara dutta hot housefull photo

Jiah Khan is the goddess of all leggy actresses. She walks in traditional Indian wardrobe and you pity yourself. Now this is what Russel Peters meant with your toys going inverted. I let my hopes alive. I had seen the promo prior to the flick and even if she takes off her dupatta and what not in a dream sequence I’m all up for it. It’s a Bollywood flick for God sake, a three hour drama. We Indians consider Bollywood movies value for money since it’s almost double the movie at the same price.

Jiah Khan impressed me with the honeymoon item song. Now Lara could learn something from her. What Jiah Khan was wearing may not have been Victoria’s Secret but it sure didn’t hide much of Jiah’s secrets. It somehow managed to hide the stupid background lyrics (what to do, really?). Too sad Akshay has to wake up and realizes it was a dream sequence. I was right! I will skip talking about Jiah’s bikini. She’s not a bikini girl and can’t carry it well.

Now for the third girl in the movie. Deepika Padukone arrives to save the day with a possible smooch. Oh wait it’s a mouth to mouth to save the poor guy from dying. Apparently it’s a fake one. Akshay deserved the slap and so did Sajid. Deepika sure looks hot in all her movies, now if only we could hear her original voice instead of that high pitch voice-over artist who dubs for her all the time.

deepika padukone in housefull

This was like almost half the movie for you. If you’re poking a finger at me for a ridiculous review so far please sit down. Housefull is indeed full of cleavage, skin, fake kisses and traditional Bollywood-hero-heroine dance themes.

I was looking for some comedy apart from the steam. I’m sorry to say but Housefull is a Titanic at comedy. No offense to the Kate Winslet starer flick I’m talking about the ship in it’s true sense (yes my sense of humor is sick). Housefull lacks what I call brains that empower a movie. Again no offense to Vindu Dara Singh. Even Boman Irani fails to rescue the Titanic err I meant Housefull.

The second part of the flick is a desert. No I did not misspell dessert. It is indeed a barren land. No meat at all. Although I did like this once scene where Akshay explains how his naada wala pyjama provides the grip at night. Just this item number in the end is somewhat for making it up to audience like me. My British fans wonder how at the end of every Bollywood movie there’s an item song or in their terms a dance party. No one can answer that question. I told them that is just to celebrate the end of the movie. They bought it! I had a hard time hiding myself during the silly Queen Elizabeth scene. They made the queen look like a duck. The British could sue the filmmakers. As for my British friends there was no end to their laughter during those few minutes.

Whoa! This has been one heck of a review. I promise I have never written like this during my semesters. I tell you Housefull is a must-check-out for every meat loving Bollywood fan-boy. And that’s the bottom line.

My Rating:

Movie: 2/5 (It would have been 4 if they allowed Chunky Pandey to kiss Jiah Khan).
Meat: 4/5
Lara Dutta: 4.5/5
Deepika Padukone: 4/5
Jiah Khan: 4.5/5

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Tags: akshay kumar, bikini, , cleavage, deepika padukone, , housefull, jiah khan, lara dutta, sajid khan


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