The Anatomy of an Online Sale

Who doesn’t love a good online sale? We’re all guilty of making useless irrational purchases every single time a major online retailer announces a promotional sale. I am probably one of the worst when it comes to online sales. The thing’s hit me so bad lately, I’ve decided to pen down my experience as well as my observations around each major sale. It’ll be alright if we’re not friends after you read this.

Each major online sale include four major components.

The Hype

This is the time when major online retailers go bat-shit crazy with marketing. It’s difficult not to spot any of their ads. Just a simple ad-blocker won’t help, you’ll need to wear a thick industrial strength blindfold to ignore those ads. Social media marketing campaigns, front-page newspaper ads, search engine ads, you name it they’ll have an ad on it. It gets worse when relatives start calling you up, and ask what this upcoming sale is all about. The hype before any major promotional sale is real.

The Sale

It’s time. The sale begins, and everyone gets busy. This is the time when your girlfriend or boyfriend would stop bothering you, WhatsApp group chats will get less annoying, there will be lesser traffic on the roads, and I’m guessing if there’s an Indian up there on the International Space Station even he’d leave all the stuff aside. Everyone will squeeze every amount of energy and bandwidth to hunt down that one amazing deal that will change their lives forever.

It gets bigger. People start adding items to their cart, some people start crying when everything they want runs out of stock, while some are busy writing conspiracy theories. Love them or hate them but you just can’t ignore these sales. These online retailers will do everything possible to make you click on those magic buttons and say goodbye to your hard-earned money.

The Wait

The sale is over, products have been purchased, and now it’s time to track orders. The chaos doesn’t end with the online sale. The real pain begins when you start tracking orders. The amount of dedication with which one keeps refreshing the order status page is massive. From the moment the order ships to the time it actually gets on a vehicle for delivery, e-commerce companies enjoy an amazing amount of traffic in the form of page refreshes. Meanwhile a bunch of orders get cancelled because these major online retailers can’t keep their shit together, and people lose their cool. They proudly claim they’ll switch teams, and will never buy from this store again (not until the next major online sale of course).

The Hate

Buyer’s remorse is real. Once the packaging has been ripped apart, and the initial excitement runs down, you have this empty feeling inside you. “Why did I buy this? Do I really need this? I could have saved a lot of money on all this shit.” Of course it’s useless to think all that now. You have to live with some of the hard decisions you make in life. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to throw a bunch of empty cardboard boxes outside for the garbage collectors.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *