Mark Zuckerberg Reviews Google+
The past week has been really interesting. Apart from working on something really awesome that we’re going to announce this coming Wednesday, I also got a chance to play around with Google’s new kid they call Google+. It’s a funny name because I thought it was just a cover for their +1 button. Running Facebook’s day to day operations sucks the juice out of my life but still I still decided to give it a shot.
The Google+ project does seem to have an interesting welcome page. It says “Real-life sharing rethought for the web.” That is Google’s way of saying that this is a social network but we don’t have the Megatron balls to admit it, not at this stage at least. So poor Google just won’t give up. The page is interesting and uses Google’s trademark sense of humor with the words – circles, hangouts and sparks. As I hit the sign in button I had flashes of Google Wave in my mind, whatever happened to that tool. I think it was really cool. Only if Google hadn’t peed in their pants too early, it might have turned out to be something really nice.
So I am logged in and I see tons of information already on my profile. Of course it’s Google and she knows everything about me. What a B! I took time to play with each of their so called features with funny names and here’s my take on what Google+ is all about, from my perspective:
Circles: I had already announced to this stupid world that people don’t like to make lists or organize their friends. That was obviously because we realized people weren’t using Facebook lists and I had to justify it. Google+ has it’s own way of letting users make lists and those aren’t actually lists, not technically. Google+ has something worse – it lets users drag and drop their friends into colorful stupid circles. At first it seems really cool but then you tend to lose it. Add 500 friends into different circles and your hair start falling apart. After managing my 500+ contacts I had no idea what to share with which circle since I couldn’t remember who went where?! The problem goes worse when you have more circles and more different types of people in those circles. This is really not going to catch up at all.
Hangout: Now this is an interesting concept. Hangout lets users video chat with other users. Ask one of Google’s creative directors, why call it hang out? They’ll keep scratching their balls till the very end and still won’t come up with an answer you can digest easily. Anyways not my problem. Hangout is another disaster in the making. You’re telling me you built a platform for people to share stuff in real-time and then you just added video conferencing capabilities for the heck of it? Excuse me here for not making sense but Google is simply BS’ing us all. Hangout almost starts instantly and won’t even give me time to do my hair, it almost caught me naked once. Good idea but it could have been executed differently.
Sparks: This is probably the worst feature on Google+. Some wanker actually went a step ahead and suggested this? Why not restart Wave all over again? If you ask Sparks serves no purpose. You cannot control the sources and that’s the big no-no. You totally depend on Google for whatever sources it may add to it’s index and who wants that? This is one reason why we have RSS readers.
Photos: Google+ photos is downright ugly. I would have accepted the image search page design but this is something totally disgusting. The photos have no order, no meaningful filters and no way why I would prefer to look at them like this. They might as well buy Instagram and hook it’s ass up with Google+, I’ll put my money on it.
Google+ is indeed a decent idea but it needs a whole lot of work and some serious thoughts to go in it. I understand there’s a good amount of folks out there who’re so awestruck by this new shitty tool and they’d be ripping apart this review of mine, these were pretty much the same people who were left flabbergasted at the Google Wave launch. Hold on to your horses folks, Google+ is yet another wave.
PS: In case you guys want invites – bend down on your knees, delete your Facebook accounts and post your e-mail ids below. I’d be happy to send one out, no kidding.
Disclaimer: The above review is a piece of satire. This, in no way, represent views of Mark Zuckerberg and has not been written by him at all. We would however love to hear his views on Google+ sometime but for now please don’t treat this seriously. If you’re Mark Zuckerberg – chill out, we’re just kidding with you man!