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5 Things All Bollywood Chicks MUST DO!

Zordy — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 12:10:36 +0000

1. Go for a cosmetic surgery

Look at chicks in Hollywood. And now look at the chicks we got in Bollywood. They’re freaking ugly dude! No matter how hard these chicks try to ape the West they’re just not up to the mark. Except for a few chicks who actually look good enough like Katrina Kaif and Lara Dutta. Look at Bipasha. That’s like kilos of fat sitting on her bikini sporting huge body. I wonder how John makes love to this Eiffel tower. And Aishwarya looks like an aunty to me.

2. Go on a beach with your lover in a bikini

I used to wonder why don’t we get to see those paparazzi shots in India like the ones they have in Hollywood land. Reality check! Our Bollywood chicks just don’t go to beaches in a bikini. Instead they choose to go on a private island with their rich boyfriends. For God sake look at the unemployment in the country girls! A little event could spark up the whole industry giving birth to legendary paparazzi. It also boosts your publicity! Take your lover along and get hanky-panky. You’re an Internet star for sure!

3. Capture your love making moments on a tape and let it get stolen!

You must spread love to get love. So make love and spread that love around. We have never had one of those awesome love making tapes people have had in Hollywood. Instead we’re forced to check out their tapes. So where’s the national pride girls? We’re lagging behind and you’ve got to launch the rocket now! In the land of Shiv-Sainiks I guess it’s hard to come up with something like this. But there’s always that excuse of your personal tape getting stolen.

4. Do realistic love making scenes on-screen.

Love making scenes in Bollywood have an iota of sex-appeal. For one, they’re highly unrealistic and two, our chicks just won’t take off their clothes. I agree even Hollywood chicks use a body double at times but hey we don’t get to know about it. That’s called being smart and naked at the same time. Love making on-screen has evolved over the past couple of years thanks to the Bhatt camp but we’ve still got a lot of ground to catch up. Also get rid of the whole fake smooching in Bollywood flicks. Where’s the conscience? How do you sleep at night? Huh! At least do something that’s real!

5. For God sake get into controversies!

The only rumors and masala we get is what the media creates. For God sake get into some naughty controversies. I hate to see tabloids and page 3 filled with garbage about the latest Bollywood movies, actors, actresses and who’s getting married to whom. Where are the cat fights?

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The Great Indian E-Commerce Review

Harry — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:22:36 +0000

Even though e-commerce took a lot of time to get used to but the Indian web users have finally swallowed the feeling that it’s quite useful to shop online. I remember the good old days when people were scared at the thought of punching credit card numbers online on a web page. And then there were those chicks who wanted to touch their fabric before making purchases online. Making purchases online has it’s own ups and downs. I’d rather say it has more ups and downs. You just need to be smart enough not to let anyone phish out your sensitive information.

I’ve been an active online shopper for a long time now. Being lazy may be one of the reasons I vote for online shopping but the convenience is pure heaven. Here’s a review of major Indian online e-commerce websites.

1. E-Bay India a.k.a Bazee.com

I had been an active Bazee user when E-Bay acquired them. E-Bay opened a whole new window of opportunities for the next door chunnu-munnu to start selling online with minimal investments. Buying on E-bay has become a pleasant experience. There are seller ratings, feedback etc. which always tell you which seller to buy from and which one to stay away from. I’ve bought from E-bay several times and I have always had a positive experience. Simple gadgets, gift items and utilities sell the most at E-Bay. The user interface is neat and the customer care usually respond quickly.

2. IndiaPlaza

Ever since Fabmall merged into IndiaPlaza I have been using them for buying my goodies online. IndiaPlaza is one of the few Indian online stores that remain independent i.e no ugly merchants in the middle so you get-what-you-see on the product description page online. You directly buy from them and thus quality is maintained. IndiaPlaza boasts to be the largest online shopping mall in India. The shipping is a bit slowish. The packaging is great. The customer care is alive and normally responds in 12 hours by e-mail. I use Indiaplaza to buy books and sometimes gadgets. They accept all major credit cards and netbanking payment facility.

3. Indiatimes Shopping

Indiatimes used to be a great place for online shopping. Then they revamped their business model and allowed chunnu-munnus to sell online as merchants. The quality came down as expected. People were not satisfied with the whole online shopping experience. Things have changed over the passage of time. I’ll still say that if you’re making your first purchase online or buying something really expensive then Indiatimes is not for you! Expect technical glitches, broken links, incomplete product descriptions all over the website. Also if the screen goes blank after you punch in your credit card details on the payment page don’t be surprised. Customer care is often caught napping. Since you buy from merchants there are shipping delays, lies on product description pages and blah blah. Indiatimes is only recommended if some shiny little coupon landed on your cell phone as a text message. Highly unrecommended.

4. Rediff Shopping

Rediff adopted the same business model as Indiatimes a long ago. In case of Rediff the whole shopping experience is somewhat better than Indiatimes. Rediff has a clear well designed online store which is fun to browse. You can shop for almost anything you feel like. The prices are quite high on Rediff shopping. This may be due to the fact that they charge a bomb to the merchants who have no option but to pass it on to their customers. Rediff accepts all major payment options. I’ll recommend Rediff in case you are interested in purchasing gifts, books, small gadgets or apparel.

5. Sify Shopping

Sify has been around for a real long time now. For some reasons Sify couldn’t keep pace with the whole information rush and it has been left behind. I made a purchase from their online store a long time ago. The shipping is quick and the customer care was fantastic that time. They don’t have a large inventory at this time but it’s a decent place to shop online. I’ll recommend you use Sify only and only if you’re out of options.

6. Future Bazaar

To me Future Bazaar is the Internet version of the retail boom in India. You can buy almost anything online from Future Bazaar for really competitive prices. They have some great promotions running from time to time. Customer support is excellent but I’m afraid it’s not the same with shipping. They accept all major payment options. A place to keep an eye on for some great deals! Highly recommended!

7. HomeShop 18

Speaking of deals this Network 18 venture is the mother of all stores offering deals. Initially HomeShop 18 seemed like it was based more on the tele-shopping business model but they eventually relaxed into a complete online store. HomeShop 18 offers some great deals if you’re interested in buying cell phones, mp3 players, dvd players, toys, digital cameras and other consumer electronic goods. They have a huge inventory of other items as well. What I like about HomeShop 18 is the great customer care and awesome payment options. They offer cash on delivery which almost no other online shopping store in India is offering. They accept my debit cards too which is the icing on the cake. And then there’s 15-Days Money Back Guarantee which is like more chocolate after the cake. Highly recommended!

8. Cafe Gadgets

Cafe Gadgets is a complete online store with a great collection of gadgets to suit your needs. It really works because most of the times I can’t find a specific gadget somewhere or a decent price. Cafe Gadgets includes all sorts of computer hardware, digital cameras, mobile phones, portable music players etc. They accept all major online payment methods and the service is quite decent.

9. Gadgets Guru

Gadgets Guru is yet another online store to satisfy your hunger for gadgets. They have all the gadgets you may need especially the latest cell phones, PDAs, software etc. It offers a decent online shopping experience. The customer care is a little hard to locate. You have to search through the badly designed web pages for a link to the customer care. They accept all major credit cards and Visa debit cards too. I hope they’ll include Netbanking as a payment method too.

10. FlipKart

FlipKart is a great place to shop for books online. I always have a hard time looking for a decent book store around and I prefer buying books online itself. FlipKart is a fairly new online book store but it’s got that thing! A huge collection of books topped with a great clean design. Then there are discounts on books which is the icing on the cake. They offer free shipping if your total order is above Rs. 100 else they’ll charge you Rs. 30 per order, fair enough. They are based in Karnataka and the customer care is quite attentive. Highly recommenced for buying books online in India.

[In case you have an online shopping experience you want to share please feel free to post a comment below]

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Back to College Fashion Guide for Girls!

Neetu — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:02:46 +0000

The vacations are over and college is calling! It’s time to go shopping and stock up to face the winter fashion challenge for this round of college. Here’s a quick guide to what you should buy.

Start Slideshow!

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Emotional Atyachar Full Lyrics

Harry — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:38:49 +0000

Emosanal Attyachaar – Brass Band Version

Jia Jia Jia Jia Doleh…
1-2-3-4…6…

Yeh dil pighla ke saaz bana loon,
dhadkan ko awaz bana loon,
smoking smoking nikle re dhooan.

Seene mein jalti hai armanon ki arthi,
Arrey what to tell you darling kya hua.
Arrey sapne dekhe jannat ke,
par mitti mein mil jaen,
phooken re ghar baar ki duniya..
ko bole good bye..
Chad jae haye Allah,
jisko bhi yeh bukhaar,

Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!

Jao Jao oh dilbar,
oh dilbar ohh!!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!

Ho gai dil ke paar tragedy…tragedy,
lut gai re bahaar, gul sukh sukh murjhae,
Ho gai dil ke paar tragedy…tragedy,
lut gai re bahaar, gul sukh sukh murjhae,

Bol Bol why did you ditch me,
Zindagi bhi lele yaar kill me,
Bol Bol why did you ditch me whore.
Bol Bol why did you ditch me,
Zindagi bhi lele yaar kill me,
Jao pia jao pia jao pia….

Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!

Jao Jao oh dilbar,
oh dilbar ohh!!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba tera pyar,
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!

Emosanal Attyachaar – Rock Version

Bharpa jo ek shor hai,
Pukhta hai purzorr hai,
Agg rag jalte iske sarmaye…

Kal mera bebaaak tha,
Aaj magar kamzor hai..
Khud se ankhein hi na mil payein.

Aankhon ke aage jo hai,
Manzar lava barsaaye…
Jalta hai dil jalta hai…
Til til main jalta hoon…
Is lamhe ki haqeeqat..
Gawaara na kar paaye…
Jalta hai dil…
Til til main jalta hoon…

Hat ja re hat jaa,
pare hat ja re nazron se,
pare Hat ja re hat jaa re,
pare hat jaa re..
arrey jaa re…

Mere lavss ke haar jaise,
hain yaadon mein chubte jaise..
Aasoon mere behte rehte..
Khoon ke…khoon ke…(twice)

Ankhon ka hai dhokha,
Aisa tera pyaar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!!!

All Dev D Deleted Scenes, four in total.
Full Music Review

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Bollywood’s Bikini Bimbo Brigade 2008!

Ishy — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:35:03 +0000

There was a time when Bollywood was fascinated by kissing scenes. To inflate an awful lot of hype into the movie the producers would press the director to include a steamy kissing scene in the movie. Even if they had to fake the entire kiss they would still go about raising rumors that there is this special kissing scene in the movie and it became the talk of the town.

As things went on big bad Bollywood grew up and kissing is no more ‘the buzz’ factor. Bikinis have become the latest trend in Bollywood. Although the Bollywood bikini brigade has been there in the past, it has only recently generated extra heat as more actresses, the I-won’t-ever-shed-clothes types, have joined the bikini club.

Aishwarya Bachchan Rai joined the bikini birgade in 2006 with Dhoom 2. Most of the people went to see Dhoom 2 for two reasons. One was the ugly bikini and the second was the smooch with Hrithik. The latter seemed to have worked. Can’t say the same for Abhishek though.

The year 2008 saw some new entrants as well. First it was Kareena Kapoor in Tashan. Kareena was in the news for reasons more than just the bikinis. She had apparently lost a whole lot of weight to get into the bikinis. That makes me wonder, why don’t they make large sized bikinis? But then no one would like to see the fat fug. Kareena’s zero figure still remains in the news as Tashan burnt into ashes at the box office. The audience verdict was simple and to the point. In today’s world of the Internet we don’t need to watch a movie for a 36 second bikini scene, thank God for YouTube!

Then it was Manisha Lamba who made it to the news. Actually it was Irfan Khan who inflated the whole Kidnap movie balloon and since Manisha was starring in the movie and there was a bikini in the wardrobe and hence the hype. The movie was as bimbo as the bikini. May be Manisha didn’t know how to carry a bikini and so she looked so stupid all the time. I think she was just too scared, “What if this tiny little thing comes off?!!”

And when love stories were falling apart and nothing was working for Priyanka Chopra she decided it was time to get into the bikini brigade. Priyanka’s venture into the bikini world proved she’s a bimbo too. Apparently when other actresses were losing weight by eating boiled veggies and nothing, Priyanka was gorging on chocolate cakes and tandoori chicken. Her fat ass bikini scene in Dostana was the worst you’ll ever see. It was like Hema Malini of today doing a bikini scene. Actually Hema could have pulled it off much better!

You certainly don’t need brains for wearing bikinis but you do need to carry them quite well. Bollywood actresses can’t stop smiling once they’re in their bikinis and they can’t stop bragging how it took them months of fitness training to fit into that bikini. It’s high time they read their scripts well and got their acts together rather than Googling bikinis in scripts.

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NEW Pepsi My can Commerical!

Harry — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:19:02 +0000

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10 Reasons to Skip Aamir’s Ghajini!

Harry — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:09:15 +0000

Aamir Khan’s hairdo for Ghajini is as terrible as the film’s plot. The hairdo reminds me of the next door dog. He sports something similar.

Ghajini is a yet another Bollywood film inspired by a yet another Hollywood film.

The movie’s climax is residing in almost every Indian’s cell phone inbox.

The actress in the movie whose name I-don’t-bother-to-remember sucks at acting.

The Ghajini soundtrack is simply…..well it’s this bad!

The action sequences one can make out from the promos are heavily inspired from Hollywood movies.

Aamir’s so called abs look as bad as Shah Rukh’s. Not that I’m jealous, I have a six pack ab myself. I just don’t flaunt it in public. I like to keep it hidden…under layers of fat.

Aamir is not a guy for an action movie. He’s too chocolate!

Save the money you’ll spend on watching the movie and donate it for Mumbai 26/11 Terror victims.

Last and most important the movie sucks. You’ll regret watching it.

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Hottie of the Week: Jiah Khan!

Zordy — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:14:58 +0000

Jiah Khan is one of the many reasons I refrain from getting married to just another chick from the farm. I keep telling myself that one day I’m gonna find a chick as super as Jiah Khan. She’s the perfect blend of coffee and chocolate, smooth enough to make anyone give up his (or her!!!) love. Ladies and gentlemen here comes Jiah Khan!

Click Next Slide to bring on the heat baby!

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Movie Review: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Ishy — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 10:40:18 +0000

Romance is back in the air with YashRajFilms’ Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi! Brilliant performances by Shah Rukh Khan and Anushka Sharma. The music is amazingly good to the ears. A refreshing love story after a long time from the YashRajFilms banner. A must-see movie of 2008!

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The Best of Indian Reality Shows!

Harry — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:03:10 +0000

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