Diwali, the festival of lights, the Indian Christmas, is finally here! I’d like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very happy Diwali and may God bless you all with pure happiness. On a personal note I’d like to make a tiny little request. This year show that you care for the environment. Be sensible, you don’t have to burst crackers to express your joy, light up your place well and share your joy with everyone around you. Let’s all have a green Diwali this year!

Happy Diwali again!

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It’s 2nd October here in India and it’s a well known national holiday. People like you and me are enjoying the extended sleep and a heavy brunch. The newspapers are of course carrying their due share of the Gandhi crap, just making sure we remember why college was off today. Gandhi is believed to be responsible for getting our nation firangi-free using his non-violent tactics. I think of my school days when we used to cram awful load of four-pages-Gandhi-text to gain a few extra points. Now I’ve started to feel that all that they teach at history classes during school is either a lie or incomplete truth.

Is it wasn’t so then how come they never taught us about the great brahamachari experiment Gandhi conducted on himself. To master celibacy he would sleep naked with young girls. In Ved Mehta’s Mahatma Gandhi and His Apostles, Mehta emphasizes on the fact that Gandhi’s experiment was an attempt to overpower Jinnah with his spiritual power. We call this dude the Father of the Nation?

Bhagat Singh was hanged by the British on March 23, 1931. Yes they made us learn this date in history but then again there were no connections with Gandhi and Bhagat Singh. We were made to believe Gandhi was on this road to non-violence and Bhagat Singh was on a whole different road to violence. Here’s an excerpt from Young India written by Gandhi;

Bhagat Singh and his two associates have been hanged. The Congress made many attempts to save their lives and the Government entertained many hopes of it, but all has been in a vain.

Bhagat Singh did not wish to live. He refused to apologize, or even file an appeal. Bhagat Singh was not a devotee of non-violence, but he did not subscribe to the religion of violence. He took to violence due to helplessness and to defend his homeland. In his last letter, Bhagat Singh wrote –” I have been arrested while waging a war. For me there can be no gallows. Put me into the mouth of a cannon and blow me off.” These heroes had conquered the fear of death. Let us bow to them a thousand times for their heroism.

But we should not imitate their act. In our land of millions of destitute and crippled people, if we take to the practice of seeking justice through murder, there will be a terrifying situation. Our poor people will become victims of our atrocities. By making a dharma of violence, we shall be reaping the fruit of our own actions.

Hence, though we praise the courage of these brave men, we should never countenance their activities. Our dharma is to swallow our anger, abide by the discipline of non-violence and carry out our duty.

March 29, 1931

Time and again this has been a hot topic for endless discussions. Could Gandhi have used his influences to save Bhagat Singh? The question here is not whether he should have saved Bhagat Singh or not, the question here is that whether he really wanted to save Bhagat Singh and his team of extremists? Now these young lads had surely started taking a toll on Gandhi’s popularity, not that he cared much but may be somewhere inside he felt if the nation really took to violence then his concept of independence would be lost. I’m not saying Gandhi should have stripped and got into jeans and t-shirt while carrying ammunition, joining Bhagat Singh’s league of extraordinary gentlemen, I’m saying Gandhi could have shown some balls there. Neither the Congress nor Gandhi were even interested in keeping Bhagat Singh and his aides alive let alone trying to save them. It was a clash of ideologies.

If most of you think non-violence was the way to go then you’re not completely correct. Satyaghraha and civil disobedience were cool ideas but they could have wiped off the British in another 200 years. This means I would have been writing this blog post on a piece of paper and submitting it to some British authority who would approve it before I post it online. But then would the British let us log into cyberspace, that’s a different question.

The whole balloon of non-violence ideology is filled with Gandhian farts. If that’s what we believe in then how come we’re spending millions on next generations arms and ammunition. Okay we’re not poking our enemies with nukes but still if you’ve got such stuff in your pocket you’re a part of the crime too. Non-violence isn’t relevant at all times. There are times when you need to tell an intruder that he needs to leave. Staying hungry and wearing a dhoti doesn’t always help.

To say Gandhi alone was responsible for our independence is wrong. To say his role was useless isn’t the truth. To call him the Father of the Nation isn’t justified. To have a holiday on 2nd October…well I’ll take it!

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Mumbai: Yo baby..check out my new cool sea-link I got!
Delhi: Ah! It’s over rated.

Mumbai: Waddya mean?
Delhi: All I see is a bunch of lunatics trying to hop on and off the damn thing. Plus you spent a whole lot of hard earned tax money on it while taking a helluva time!

Mumbai: Nah! You’re just jealous, you ain’t got nothing cool.
Delhi: Oh yeah?! I just allowed homos some freedom.

Mumbai: Ah! That’s coz you’re gay.
Delhi: Oye teri bhain $#@$#..ZZZZzzz.zzZZZZZ…

Mumbai: What the…?
Delhi: DDdzzZZZZzzzz..damn power cut.

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Alright girls it’s time to take out all those pink chadiis (underwear) and throw them at Sri Ram Sena’s sick faces. No I haven’t been hooked to booze lately. The Pink Chadii Campaign has been kicked off by a bunch of girls with brains ,called Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women, on Feb 5, 2009. It’s a fun way of fighting back at men who think the world must be girl-free. As per these kind of men, girls must not indulge in pubbing or clubbing as it’s not a part of our Indian culture. Yes our Indian culture does include these men doing the same thing and also beating the crap out of innocent women just trying to have a little fun.

The campaign aims to send pink colored chadiis to Sri Ram Sena for their immense love shown to the women in Mangalore and their broad perspective of the place women deserve in out culture. In addition the girls behind the campaign have also planned a Pub Bharo movement. Very interesting! I’m packing up my pink chadiis and sending it off.

Cheers to all the Indian girls out there!

Check out more details on the campaign’s official blog.

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The wait is over folks, it’s here. Well almost! The bookings for the World’s cheapest car, Tata Nano, are expected to open by the end of this month. Tata might start a limited production of Nano from different locations to make sure it can roll out the first Tata Nano by the end of March 2009 until the mother plant comes up in Gujrat. Here’s all that you need to know about booking the Tata Nano car.

What you need to pay during booking?

As per a report from Economic Times, the booking amount could be as much as Rs. 70,000 i.e 70% of the price of the car, provided Tata puts up a price tag of Rs. 1 lakh on the Nano. Going by the response after the announcement of the car by Rata Tata, you might have to wait for a longer period of time before you can get your hands on the steering wheel.

Where to book?

You can book a Tata Nano car at all Tata Motors dealers. You can also make your bookings at various designated State Bank of India (SBI) branches across the country. It appears that Tata and SBI have collaborated on financing the car for the buyers.

Who gets to drive first?

As I said earlier, you might have to wait for some time before you get your own Tata Nano car. The waiting period would be a result of huge demand for the car as well as a low production. As far as the allotment for bookings is concerned, a lucky draw will decide who gets to drive the Tata Nano home first. It’s obvious that the car will sell for a huge premium during the early weeks.

In case you have any further queries please feel free to post them on the comments. I’ll be more than happy to answer you.

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Dear Barkha,

I hope that you find some time to read this letter. I know you must be enjoying reading so much about you in the Indian Blogosphere. So much for ‘shoddy journalism’ Barkha! As a girl I really admired your presence in the Indian media. You were one of the many reasons I used to prefer NDTV over other crappy news channels in India. But not any more. The recent incident where you and NDTV sued an Indian blogger Chyetanya Kunte for no reason left me in a bad taste. So the people who brag about such standards of freedom of speech suddenly find themselves getting down and dirty with the whole freedom of expression thing.

I hope you’ve found yourself satisfied Barkha but I’m not. Neither are the thousands of Indian bloggers, lakhs of people who eventually got to read that post Kunte originally wrote. So here’s my verdict on the whole issue;

NO NDTV for me now. NO Barkha Dutt for me now. NO NDTV for all my friends, family and online buddies. This doesn’t make any impact on your TRPs but even if it makes a 0.01% impact on your lame minds, I’ll be a happy person.

With love,

Your ex-fan!

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So Indian music composer A.R Rahman won a Golden Globe award for composing the soundtrack for Slumdog Millionaire and the proud Indian media went on like nuts. Winning a Golden Globe award is of course something big but dude, does Rahman deserve this one? I don’t think so.

I have been a fan of A.R Rahman’s music ever since I heard his magical music composition for the flick Roja. I absolutely loved his work. He used to sound so bloody different than the usual Bollywood noise. Soon Rahman followed it up with record selling soundtracks for Bombay, Fire, Dil-se, Rangeela, Taal and many more.

And then what happened? All of a sudden his music starts becoming noise. He’s compositions start smelling like twin cats. Sometimes it became difficult to judge when the song ended and when another one came up. This very period of Rahman’s career bought him down, at least to me. He clearly confessed his deteriorating quality of composition with Yuvvraaj’s music. If anyone had still had doubts, Ghajini proved that A.R Rahman wasn’t getting a full night’s sleep.

But there are retards everywhere. Some morons managed to let Rahman walk away with a Golden Globe Award for Slumdog Millionaire. Now I have seen the movie and I love it. I have heard the soundtrack as well. Apart from one single track there’s nothing so special, nothing worth a ‘Golden Globe’ in it for Rahman. I’m afraid this might encourage Rahman to throw crap into our ears. Again.

To me A.R Rahman is crap. This award makes it official to me!

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A leading Indian outsourcing company Satyam had inflated it’s earnings and assets. A revelation made by the company’s co-founder and chairman, Ramalinga Raju, made Satyam the most talk about company of the day as it bought the company down to it’s knees. The Indian stock market roiled as the industry went into a turmoil. Raju made this revelation in a resignation letter he sent to the board of directors of the company on Wednesday.

As per Raju 50.4 billion rupees of the 53.6 billion rupees listed in the company’s assets for the second quarter were non existing. Now that’s a whopping amount of money. The incident could have some serious effects on the huge Indian outsourcing industry which is already experiencing economic slowdowns. Satyam employees now fear losing their jobs. It is obvious that Satyam would be acquired by a bigger company in the near future. So if you were thinking of getting placed in Satyam during this placement season, forget it.

So Mr. Raju tried to do an Enron in India and thought he could get away. Wait till they fry your ass in jail you moron. Satyam’s share prices fell by as much as 70%. The investors would be some angry people right now.

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Another down.

So who is next? Me or YOU?!

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